I am still here.
I say that to myself a lot as I’m often surprised to find myself still here, still alive, still surviving.
Looking back I can see a very clear line drawn in my life of before reaching the age of 40, and after.
As I entered my fourth decade with a small celebration on top of Glastonbury Tor I had no idea of what was waiting for me, as anxiety and IBS reared their heads and became permanent residents in my life.
Of course, I’ve had great times too and made many happy memories, but an underlying sadness runs throughout those years.
There is a saying that the darkest hour is before dawn. I’ve had my dark years and within them found a strength I didn’t know I had.
I have become good at self care and making time for myself, have stopped being a people pleaser, and no longer say ‘yes’ to things I don’t want to do.
My toolkit of coping strategies has expanded, and I’ve learned some interesting techniques and met wonderful people along the way.
The most important thing I discovered is that it is not what you do, but how you do it. Mother Teresa said: “Do small things with great love.”
My power word is ‘connection’ and I’m connecting with people and situations through my heart, and trying to bring these feelings into everything I do.
My forties aren’t over yet and I’m beginning to write a new chapter.
And I am still here.